Bad Poems 3

I'm posting some very old poems that I wrote when I was 17 and 18. Some I knew were terrible at the time!

I think these two are both about a chap I dated briefly in my last year of high school. I'm positive we only snogged (badly), so why he deserved such vitriol I have no idea!

Malicious Verse

When you read this, if you can,
You will discover, nasty man,
That my opinion, you great nit,
Would be hard on a pail of shit.

You gross, slime-minded scummy toad,
So like what’s been smeared in the road,
Your stagnant, reeking, dirty thoughts
Would make a slug feel out of sorts.

Bile rises at the sight of you,
You uninspiring used tissue.
Oh, all in all you have less charm
Than bird droppings on a pig farm.

You’re utterly pathetic when
You try to act as other men:
Yes, all of you from head to toe
Is so repulsive, don’t you know.

Your feeble trying to impress
Makes all respect you even less.
Why don’t you just throw in the towel
Before frustration makes you howl.

I do not like you, you can tell,
So bugger off and go to hell.

April 1989

Ode to a moron

We heard a rumor just last week,
A tale that made us stop and shriek
With laughter, anger, shock and rage,
A story that would stun a sage.

It seems some stupid, macho prick,
Whose sad, self-centered, dumb and thick
Ideas would make a worm think twice
Before he sprung them ‘fore our eyes,

Has been spouting, throughout town,
A boast that proves him such a clown.
He says that at the Social he,
All innocence and purity,

Was pestered, hounded, set upon
‘Til all his patience was quite gone.
It seems that two of his “old flames”
Succumbed to passion and played games

With his emotions, and the night
Soon lost all joy and all delight.
The Social seemed quite drab and grim
With these two hussies chasing him.

He said this to a friend of ours
Who straight collapsed with mirth for hours,
Because she knows, as do we all,
This brain-dead twerp does not hold thrall

O’er either of us two, and we,
Although receiving this with glee,
Were also upset and incensed
At his guy’s cheek and felt most tense.

We then conspired together to
Choose fitting penance just for you
And thus wrote this, so from now on
Do kindly take the hint, moron.

May 1989

Your Princess Fix

It's been a quiet week - yucky weather and I have a new xbox game that's been taking up a lot of time! Princess rolls around at my feet amusing herself with her toys, chatting non-stop. She's managing to sort of crawl backwards for surprising distances, and I am sure she'll get the hang of forwards soon!

Princess has started self-feeding herself the odd meal, and her coordination is coming along nicely. It does mean meals now take over an hour, but at least I can prep my dinner or clean the kitchen at the same time! I have to watch my step though, as it is apparently interesting to drop peas to the floor and watch what happens...


This past Tuesday was the Melbourne Cup horse race. It's one of those nation-wide celebrations, and I had my Mothers Group over and we did a little sweep-stake and wore silly hats.




New words:
"Boh" = "Boo" while playing peekaboo
"Bow" = "Bowl"
"Poo" = "Spoon"
"Kuh" = "Cup"
"Kah" = "Car"
"Buh" = "Bird"

Over the last 2 days Princess has started going "Mmmmmmah! Mamamamamama" so I'm very hopeful there might be a "Muhmeh" in my near future! Her "Dahdeh" is too adorable.

Oh, and 2 new teeth - her first baby molars - have arrived! So that's 10 teeth now.

Bad Poems 2

I'm posting some very old poems that I wrote when I was 17 and 18. Some I knew were terrible at the time!

This one was written for my best friend in high school. We were inseparable and I would have walked through fire for her. At 19 she cut me out of her life because her boyfriend didn't like me. Bitch.

To Jay

Laughter is infectious, Jay,
I have to crack up when you do.
I see you shake with mirth, and I
Can’t help but giggle ‘long with you.

When you snigger and collapse
I have to laugh until I cry.
It’s not the joke so much, but how
You grin at me and wink your eye.

Thanks for laughing with me, Jay,
It means so very much to me.
I hope you’ll stay forever more
A friend from whom a smile comes free.

Nov 1989

First Kisses

I just had to tell the world that my baby girl has given her mummy kisses for the first time!

We were playing at pulling faces and making noises with her in my arms yesterday, and started doing kisses ("mwah mwah mwah!") at each other. Then as I leaned in to plant a bunch of kisses on her cheek she gave me kisses on my cheek! And then the same on the other side!

Of course I haven't been able to get her to do again, but those little baby kisses are branded on my face!

Squeeeeee!

Bad Poems

While reading a recent post by Maleesha, where she posts rediscovered childhood poetry, I remembered that I too had some old poems lying around.

In my final year of school and my first year of art college I was rather into writing poems. I thought they were pretty good at the time. Some of them are really broken-hearted/bitchy stuff about boys - whose names and faces escape me now. Ah, youth - it was all so intense back then. I wouldn't relive my teens and early twenties for anything!

I think I'll post some of these old poems per week, for your amusement!

This is [the only] one that Mom thought was good enough to print out and hang on her office wall:

Hot sun shining in a dazzle,
Splash of brill’ance to the eye.
Gleaming interplay of colours,
Ripples flash beneath the sky.

Green leaves rustle in the treetops,
Branches tossing to and fro;
Roots are tugging, pulling, straining
Deep within damp soil below.

Leaves are falling, twisting, turning
To the water, crystal clear.
Lapping wavelets bear them gently
Where the winds of chance may steer.

‘Neath the shimmer of the surface
Calm does everything enfold.
Light is filtered, soft and soothing,
Dappl’ing forms in green and gold.

Downward, gliding to the lakebed,
All grows dimmer, twilight land.
Tangled in thin strands of plant growth
World of mystery; free, unplanned.

Through this atmosphere of quiet
Eddies sigh their steady way,
Always bending, never breaking,
Life through movement, constant sway.

In this swirling, watchful, silence
Thoughts are loud, ideas whole.
Far away from hate and turmoil
Reach inside and touch your soul.

June 1989


I obviously had a thing about meter. Still do, actually.

It's been quite a week

Another tooth, learning to clap, playing in the park, and the first visit to a swimming pool this year!


Too cute!

Princess has had her eighth tooth arrive this week. It is the second bottom left incisor - so now she is "balanced" again. Like the previous tooth there was very little drama, just a week or so of wanting to gnaw on things. It's just clearing the gum-line at the moment, so Milord can't see it without his glasses on yet!

I've been trying to get back into some semblance of a routine now that my beloved houseguests have gone home and Milord and I are over our colds (I caught a mild version of his ManFlu, but luckily Princess was fine). If it is a nice day I will go for a walk once Princess has had breakfast, then do some tummy exercises during her nap. I'm keeping a food diary and trying to keep under 20 Weightwatcher points a day Mon-Thurs, and we're also avoiding booze on those days.

Happily I only gained 1kg while Dad and StepMom were here, so that should be easy to get off again... and then to work on the other 4kg I've been trying to lose for a year!

Often my walks will involve stopping at a playground, as Princess now enjoys the swings and seesaws. There is even a small slide at one park where I can (while straddling the slide) sit her at the top, take her hands and help/pull her down the slippery bit! I think she enjoys it...



Yes, she is in her PJs. It's quite early in the morning!

During the week Princess and I traveled into the City for me to have a haircut. I left her with Milord at his office while I went for my cut, and she charmed everyone! My hairdresser got a bit carried away when I said I'd like my hair a little shorter than usual for summer, but it will look alright in a couple of weeks I hope...

Friday was a stunning day, so I gathered up towels and cozzies and took a walk to our nearest public pool - 45 min away (the nearer one is under reconstruction). First Princess and I played in the super-shallow baby pool, then I took her into the big pool for a little bit. I have taught her to close her eyes and hold her breath when I pour water over her head, and now we are working on her doing the same when "gliding" on her front... She seemed to enjoy herself, but then she got very cold. I felt like a terrible mummy as it took her ages to warm up, even dressed in several layers! I now have a blanket packed in the pool bag!

Yesterday was gorgeous weather again and Milord was keen on a pool visit too, so we headed back to the swimming pool - only to find it closed indefinitely for renovation! Seems it's been leaking badly... so now I have no nearby public pool until the end of November. Eeek. I've just bought a huge paddling pool off eBay!

Today is Sunday, and the weather is filthy. Blustery rain, and lots of it... our raintanks must be filling up nicely. Milord is playing xbox, Princess is having a nap and I am catching up on blogdom. My suburb is having a street festival today - oh dear! If it clears up we may take a walk up the road for a look - there are supposed to be bands, art displays, food stalls etc. I guess it won't be too crowded this year!

Hats!

I bought Princess a couple of new summer hats the other day, as her old ones are far too small. She's pretty good about wearing hats, luckily. I also got a headband that can be used to fancify her hats, or be worn on its own!

Princess Update

First words (by which I mean used in context without prompting):
"vah-vah" = water/thirsty (or anything in a bottle, including sunscreen!)
"ffff" = food ("Are you hungry, baby?" "Ffffff!")
"gook" = book

Princess obviously mimics all sorts of other words, but these are the ones I've definitely seen her use, unprompted, in relation to objects. She does the occasional "Dada!" on spotting Milord, especially first thing in the morning, but is still resisting anything remotely like "Mama"! StepMom was "Gah-gah" (Granny) and my Dad was "Bo" (Grandpa Bob)... but only when they weren't listening! The moment people gather round and try to get Princess to say their name she won't do it!

Princess is still not crawling or cruising, but she can inch-worm backwards (very frustrating for her!) and can roll around the room if she feels like it. She can now get from sitting to her tummy in a controlled manner, and stands very well with a bit of help with balance.

I was getting a little concerned at Princess' lack of mobility, so at her 12 month checkup we were referred to the baby physiotherapist. This is a lovely young lady who basically plays with Princess for an hour, getting her onto all fours, or to sit up from lying down, or to lie down from sitting. Then I go home and attempt the same - to a lot more complaint - for a couple of weeks before we go back again. The physio says she is happy with Princess' progress, which is a weight off my mind.

While Princess is still a sunny, placid baby, she is developing a temper when she can't have her way. She has also decided that pinching Mummy (ow!) is very funny. Luckily she's not biting for effect yet like some of the other babies in my Mother's Group! I'm keeping her fingernails extremely short and trying to ignore the surprisingly painful pinching on my exposed chest and arms, as the less I react the less she pinches.

Our newest communication is blowing kisses... I have got to try to catch it on video as it's the cutest thing! Also, peekaboo using her hands over her eyes when she doesn't have a cloth to hide behind.

What else? We are back to 2 short naps a day, Princess eats anything although I haven't tried her on egg for ages, and her second bottom right incisor has appeared.

Manflu Central

Milord has the lurgy - so far Princess and I seem immune. It is so nice that she doesn't catch every cold under creation any more!

Milord is not a bad patient as such - no whining - but golly he's a bear with a sore head when the meds wear off! (ah, that reminds me ...gets up to feed Milord more cold remedy...)

I have also been re-braining my computer, which wasn't as easy as it should have been. So I've lost a couple of days there!

There was a major storm system bearing down on Sydney since Thursday. A huge cold front up from Antarctica mixed with wet tropical air and swept across Australia, dumping heavy rain with high winds, and was due to hit here yesterday. I was quite looking forward to it as we have a newly renovated cosy little house. I stocked up on wine, snacks and pork roast, and watched the weather channel with interest.

...and... it missed us! Flooding and storms everywhere except Sydney - we had a cloudy balmy breezy day yesterday. I had to go out this morning and thoroughly water my flowerbeds as they were parched (I'd turned off the automatic irrigation in anticipation of lots of rain). It is a bit chilly outside though.

Milord has been parked in front of the telly all day... news, sport, xbox, yawn. Princess plays on the mat at his feet, squawking for attention when her container-of-items-to-fling-around-the-room is empty, or she can't reach something. In general she's the easiest kid to entertain though!

Right, computer is back online. Where's the post about the first words got to...?

Dad and StepMom are gone...

Wah!

I dropped Dad and StepMom at the airport this morning and drove home with a lump in my throat and I'm a bit blue now - not quite the blubbering mess I was after Mom's last visit, but still sad. They seemed to enjoy Australia and are head-over-heels in love with Princess, so they'll be back!

As well as sightseeing the highlights of their visit include: a new tooth, Princess' first words, and her learning to blow kisses! More about that later...

Dad and StepMom were awesome house guests. They bought all the groceries and wine and took over dish washing and clothes-folding (both pet hates of mine). When not playing with Princess they could usually be found reading a book or fiddling on a computer, so were very easy to be around as that's what I tend to do in my downtime too! They offered to babysit as much as we fancied, so Milord and I went out on two Date Nights - our first since my birthday in March!


Their first week had stunning weather - in fact it was unseasonably warm! We explored the Harbour Bridge and Opera House, walked along the river near my house, put irrigation into my flowerbeds, tested my hammock, attended a joint Mother's Group First Birthday party, and walked to the Fish Markets via parkland.




Then Dad and StepMom went to stay with an old friend for a week to give us some space and were taken all over the Blue Mountains, Northern Beaches and central Sydney. In the meantime I got the house clean and tidy, and Milord and I spent a couple of days visiting RuralChick and her family. It rained nonstop so we chatted and drank and read and ate... nice!

When Dad and StepMom got back to me they were exhausted! We spent a couple of days recharging at home and in local parks, then ventured back into the city to explore the QVB, Chinatown and the Chinese Gardens. One day I sent Dad and StepMom into town to walk the Harbour Bridge, and on the weekend Milord joined us and we all explored The Rocks Market and surrounds.


Yesterday, their last day, we caught a train to Circular Quay and found a restaurant near the Opera House, overlooking the Harbour Bridge. We had lunch and a couple of bottles of wine, the sun came out and we basked while watching the world go by. It was a perfect last day in Sydney!



Now I have my little house to myself... Milord is at work, Princess is napping, the first of many laundry loads is in the wash, and it's very very quiet. I don't quite know what to do with myself!