Tuesday, 23 June 2009

Preggy Rant

Week: 28 and 2 days

Nothing much to report. Weight is stable and the bump seems to be a lot more out in front. I'm having trouble sleeping - I just can't get comfy and then the slightest snore disturbs me... and they're not exactly slight yaknow? Oh and the baby is getting really kicky now - I can see my tummy bulge - and I can't fall asleep with that going on (note to self, no more sugar before bedtime).

Here is another stupid article warning women not to leave childbearing until late in life.

I don't know any woman personally who has "chosen to wait" until their late 30s / early 40s to have children. My peers who married at 25/30 already have 2+ kids, and that's what I always intended to do too.

You think I want to be 37 and pregnant with my first? You think I'm thrilled that I'm going to have to try for #2 almost immediately because the big 4-0 is looming? (I have no intention of trying for kids after 40. I don't care if celebs manage it - I am not Madonna.) I am so tired now, what's it going to be like next time when I am even older and trying to manage a toddler?

Why am I pregnant so late in life? Because I hadn't met my husband until a couple of years ago you knob! What, I was supposed to push out a couple of sprogs during a bad relationship, or as a singleton, a decade ago, just because it was my optimum physical time?

No. Bloody. Way.

Conversely Milord will be turning 50 next year, when our firstborn is 7 months old. He's not exactly chuffed with the thought of being 70 as she goes to college, and I can't see many piggy-back races ahead. Why did he "wait so long"? Because he hadn't married someone prepared to have a family until quite recently!

Every woman I know who is deliberately having kids late is in a newish relationship (with the notable exception of one friend who hit 40 without ever meeting Mr Right and has done the very brave choice of artificial insemination to become a single mum). Up until now we haven't had the right circumstances for a family, but if we'd been in the right place with the right person at 30 we'd most likely have done this then.

We know it's risky. We know it might not happen. Do you expect those of us who found each other late to not have kids at all because we've missed the "most fertile" window?

Huh. Now pass me latest article condemning teen mums will you?


~PakKaramu~ said...

Pak Karamu reading your blog

Nat said...

Ignore those dumbass articles about "older mums"....do they ever mention the advantages that you have over so-called younger mums? Of having actually done the things you want to do before you start a family, such as building a career, travelling, finding financial stability and really finding out who you are and what you're about. To actually being comfortable in your own skin. You'll be able to convey that confidence to your child and teach her all the things you gained from your life experience....and not feel the resentment that some younger parents feel, those who may had parenthood thrust on them too early in life.
You're going to be a fantastic mom!

Doc Manette said...

I say - don't sweat it.

My first child was born when I was 32 - I weighed 130 pound prior to getting pregnant - gained 50 plus pounds, ended up on bed rest because I got high blood pressure and he was born tiny - 6 pounds.

Second child - I was 39, gained only 13 pounds - no high blood pressure and she weighed 1 ounce shy of 8 pounds.