Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Australia - Impressions

These are my impressions, formed when I stepped off the plane in Sydney after 7 years in England after growing up in South Africa

1. So where are the good looking people then? Gee the British heritage shows strongly, I was expecting tall and gorgeous, and they're the same weedy chinless bunch I just left behind.

2. Blue sky, wide streets, clean and shiney. Nice city.

3. What the hell are those girls wearing? Ew. They must all get dressed in the dark every day. I don't care if it's in fashion, no one in their right mind dresses that unflatteringly. It's called a mirror, darling.

4. Why is everybody overweight? I thought this place was sporty and outdoorsy, but anyone over 30 has really let themselves go. Where is the eye-candy? Wah!

5. Gosh that's a lot of Asians. Where am I? I feel confused. And very tall. At least they're not overweight...

6. Argh look out! My god don't you people understand following distances?! And how about indicating when you're changing lanes? And what's with hogging the fast lane while doing the speed limit? Move over dammit, I'll get a ticket if I want one!

7. That lady in the shop just spoke to me. And she made eye contact. She actually sounded like she cared how I was... that's nice. Not very efficient, but nice.

8. How much for a bottle of wine? I can get it for less in London! Yes, the exact same bottle of wine. That's silly. What do you mean you don't stock anything except Aussie and NZ wine? I want a nice dry soave, or a light French sav, I'm tired of the fruity local stuff... No I am not paying that much for an imported bottle of champagne!

9. My god this seafood is amazing!

10. These suburbs are wierd. Pokey old terraces you couldn't swing a cat in... I came here to get away from this! Damn they're cold in winter, where's my coat? And scarf. And gloves. Didn't think I'd be needing them again.

11. It's lovely and safe here. In my suburb anyway ;-). No bars on the windows, people leave their front doors wide open when expecting friends. Fab.

12. Another barbeque? We had one yesterday and the day before. And the day before that. Yes it is nicer than being inside, you're right.

13. I still think a gas barbeque is cheating. And you only use the hotplate side - isn't that frying rather than barbequeing? Where's the skill in that? Sure is quick and easy though. Just as well considering we barbeque every night!

14. Let's go to the beach! There aren't any nearby? Oh because we're in a harbour, ok. So let's drive an hour to get to one... orange sand? Interesting.

15. Fancy a swim in the sea? Only between the flags because of the rip tide, I see. With the other thousand people just there. And look out for sharks... maybe I'll just lie here.

15. What do you mean I can't lie in the sun?! Skin cancer. hmm. You may have a point. Gee I've never been so pale.

16. Driving over the harbour bridge gives me such a thrill! Look look look there's the Opera House. Isn't it pretty?

17. You people are too laid back for your own good. Give me a deadline dammit! And how do you expect me to meet it if you don't do your work? Hmmm?

18. Wow that's a lot of road tunnels.

...more to come

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