Thursday, 19 August 2010

Flash has left the building

Last Friday I started bleeding. Just a smudge on the loo paper, but still... I rang my doctor and they said to keep an eye on things and if I was still bleeding on Monday they'd send me for a checkup. It was a long, long, looong weekend. The bleeding got worse, then better, then worse, then better.

On Monday I rang my doctor and they said to get myself checked out at the hospital. I love hospitals. I especially love public hospitals. Milord came back from work and sat with me in a sad cramped room with many other couples looking tense for 4 hours. We were in the miniscule minority in that we had a bright bouncing Princess laughing in our laps, and she has been the only thing keeping us upright at times. I feel so sorry for the childless couples who were waiting with us.

We eventually had a scan that showed us a very undersized Flash, with no heartbeat. Looks like the fetus died a few weeks back, but my body didn't want to accept the truth...

We are not ok, but we are better than we were a few days ago and we are being very very kind to each other. Milord was given the week off to be with me. We went away for a night, via a glorious scenic drive that took 7 hours of mountains and rivers and bright green gum trees. Princess was an angel. I'm still bleeding, but it's painless and more like a period than anything.

Tomorrow I will be having the final cleanup, as my body is still in denial. And then we will pull ourselves back together, and keep on keeping on.

We are so sad. We were so looking forward to meeting Flash.

7 comments:

Suzanne said...

I am so very sorry. You and your lordship are in my thoughts.

Janey said...

Dear Mel,

How very sad. Charles and I are really sorry at this news. Our thoughts are with the pair of you.
Much love from us both.

Nat said...

So very, very sorry. Will be thinking of you.
Hugs x

waterbob said...

Our thoughts are with you both. Thankfully Grace will keep you busy and help to distract a little of the pain and loss. Sterkte!

Shona said...

My heart goes out to you both. You are both in my thoughts. Take care xx

Heera said...

my prayers are with you nd your family.

greytonsal said...

My love, so sorry that I am not in easy contact at the moment. All my love to you all.