Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Birds 'n Bees

Milord and I are trying for kids (sort of, we're not shagging to schedule just yet).

I had my contraceptive implant taken out when we got home from honeymoon 2 months ago, and I've been monitoring my waking temperature with one of those sensitive thermometers during the first snooze of the alarm clock on work days (apparently your body temperature elevates a little bit when you ovulate). I haven't worked out the pattern yet, and it would probably help if I did it on weekends too!

I'm not stressed - it's only been a couple of months and we're not exactly making like bunnies. During the first cycle I reckon we missed the fertile window completely due to us being tired from work and renovations. This cycle we were active around the right time and I'm waiting to see how that turns out, but I actually think we missed it again.

So yeah, not much chance of me being pregnant just yet. Milord shocked me a couple of days ago. We were making dinner together and he came out with the statement that he didn't think we'd be having kids.

"What? Why do you say that?"
"I thought you'd be pregnant by now. We've had plenty of sex."
"Sure we have, but probably not at the right time."
"What do you mean - the right time? You have sex and you get pregnant, right?"

Milord is 48 years old. He tried for kids briefly with his first wife when he was in his 30s (until she realised she really didn't want any). How can he not know how small a girl's fertile window is? He honestly thought any day would do the trick!

I had to explain ovulation, and how you only have the time the egg moves through the tube to fertilise it, and if you miss that day then you have to wait another month, and that's why I've been doing the thermometer thing... He was stunned.

"How do people get pregnant by accident then?"
"Chance, babe. Pure chance!"


Suzanne said...

Milord, I wish it were just that simple for some of my friends. They probably hate me for how easy my two were.

Good luck on that front!

Tink said...

I knew a guy who thought a woman produced an egg each time she orgasmed. No lie. I laughed so hard I almost pissed my pants. Guys have no clue.