Thursday, 9 August 2012

Pity Party

*sigh* I have the blues.

In 4 days I fly to South Africa to see my Dad. To say goodbye.

Dad spends half of each week in the hospital now, receiving blood and antibiotics as his body is not doing much in that department anymore. He sleeps most of the time. This will be the last time I see my father.

I feel bad writing that I'm miserable, because it's so selfish.

Poor Princess is getting glasses today, which she has to wear all the time to try to correct a squint. If the glasses don't work then she will need surgery on her eye muscles. And she's now been referred to a neurologist because her walking is so wobbly. Oh, and she has a fucking heart murmur!

The cost of the fence we recently built, my flights to see Dad and Milord's leg operation have seriously impacted our finances. I have had to dip into the kid's college fund to pay for it all. This makes me feel bad too. And makes Milord cranky because he's the breadwinner blah blah blah.

I'm fat. No more than usual, but I really was hoping I'd lose a few kilos before my trip to visit Dad. It seems so wrong to be a blobby mess while visiting someone who is wasting away because they can't eat. Food is my comfort thing though...

Milord is taking 2 weeks off work to look after the kids while I'm away. He's never even had them both for a day, so I'm a bit worried about him although he's being very gracious about it. What with me being blue, and all Princess' latest medical issues, Milord is a bit short tempered lately. I have to walk on eggshells around him.



Suzanne said...

I'm so sorry. Each thing on its own would be an annoyance, but all at the same time?

Hugs across the ocean to you. Wish I was there to help Milord.

Shona said...

What an enormous load you are shouldering at the present time. I really wish the trip to SA was not for the reason it will be.

Be kind to yourself, yes financially at the mo it is a strain but you will always have the memories that you spent time with your lovely Dad. Believe me, that will outweigh any cost in years to come.

Princess and King are the sweetest kids and are a reflection of their fabulous Mum and Dad.

My thoughts are with you.

Kia Kaha :)

Nat said...

So so sorry..... you have so much to deal with and it's not going to be easy. Just focus on the precious time you will have with your dad.

You're in my thoughts, always.

Kat said...

Am thinking of you! Try to forget all the home worries and just make the most of your time with your Dad. Sure Milord will do a great job with princess and King! Tell your dad my thoughts are with him in his fight and with your step mom too. I love princess in her glasses by the way!