Thursday, 15 November 2007

A Tad Blue

Sigh. I'm feeling blue today...

You know, I've changed countries a couple of times now, and occasionally it has its hard moments. I often get asked "Don't you miss South Africa / the UK?" and my answer is always "No. But I do miss my friends and family there."

I've been in Australia almost 2 years, I have a loving boyfriend and a couple of close mates... but no one here has known me for very long. No one here has seen me through a breakup, job change, house move or even a bad cold. I don't have a history with anyone - all our stories are less than 2 years old. We don't say "Do you remember the time when - " because of course we do, it happened only the other day.

Last night Milord and I had dinner with a couple of his old friends. Their friendship goes back many years: they have been on long holidays together, been to each other's weddings, helped one another through relationships and divorces and job changes and house moves and children. They have history. After a few bottles of wine they began to reminisce about things, and I kept having to say "Wait, tell me the whole story, I wasn't there...". Eventually I merely sat quietly, unable to join in or even follow the flow of conversation. I stopped listening.

I finally wandered off for a glass of water and went into the lounge room and sat on the sofa in the dark... missing my people. I went all tired and emotional, and luckily after a while Milord noticed and took me home. I'm still a bit down today.

I'll be ok - I've been through this before. Eventually I will have been in my new country long enough to create a history, and I will be able to say "Remember when" to someone.

But I miss you guys so much right now.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Aw... sorry to hear you were feeling blue :( We miss you too! I know exactly how you must have felt - I used to get that at secondary school when we'd moved across the UK - everyone used to go "remember when... " and launch into primary school stories that I had never been a part of :( Hope you are cheerier now! Kat