Thursday, 13 September 2007

Rest in Peace, almost Mum-In-Law

Lord Blackadder's mum died yesterday morning.

I didn't know her very well, and in the time that I did know her she was always very ill, but she was a lovely lady and I'm sad that she is gone. We didn't have much in common, and she was just a few years younger than my grandmother so I tended to think of her more as a granny than a mum, especially considering how frail she has been in all the time I've known her.

I'm sad that she will not be at our wedding and that she will not spoil our children when we have them. I'm sad that m'Lord's last parent in gone. I'm sad for his sister who has lost a mother she was really close to, and for his nieces who grew up at their granny's house.

Lord Blackadder's mum was diagnosed with breast cancer several years ago, and fought it off successfully. Then just over two years ago she was diagnosed with throat cancer, and underwent some fairly nasty treatment for it. We thought she had beaten that one when shadows appeared in both lungs and we were told it could not be cured and the clock was ticking. She fought all the way, and only in the last few weeks of her life did she say that she'd had enough and was ready to stop.

She was always cheerful around me, and made an enormous effort when I visited. Just a couple of weeks ago she got out of her hospital bed and walked me to the lifts to say goodbye, when merely sitting up was draining. That's the last time I saw her, and I will take the image of her determined courage with me.

We received a phone call at 5am yesterday summoning m'Lord to the hospital in Brisbane. He dashed from the house, got on the first plane and from Brisbane airport hailed a taxi. Sadly he missed his mum's passing at 9:05 by mere minutes, and he is very upset about that. She was unconscious and wouldn't have known that he was there, but that's not the point. I have never seen him so broken, although he pastes a brave face over most of it. He flew home again last night and the funeral will be on Monday so we will both travel to Brisbane over the weekend for that.

I left work early yesterday to be home when he got in, and stocked up on comfort food. I matched him glass for glass all evening, and while I feel kind of rough today at least he slept through the night! He went in to work today even though they offered him time off, as he felt the distraction would be good.

Although Lord Blackadder's mum was definitely suffering and so her death is a relief, we are still grieving for her. It's going to be a sad time for a while.

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