Sunday, 9 September 2012

I'm Home

I've been home for over a week, and it almost feels as if I was never away and my Dad's passing was all a dream. Until one of my kids makes me laugh and I realise that it has been so very long since I last felt like laughing...

I'm ok. I'm just sort of generally a little bit sad. The week I spent in South Africa after Dad died was so hugely emotional that I think I have worked through a great deal of my grief already. Or else it is waiting to hit me later.

We held Dad's memorial on Tuesday 28th August in Saldanha, where he and StepMom live. Because of the short notice and long way to travel we only had about 100 people turn up, where we'd been expecting at least double that. It was nice to have a relatively small number though and they were all close friends and family. One of Dad's brothers and StepBrother flew in from London, a cousin flew from Jhb, and folk gathered from all over.

The memorial was held at the yacht club, of which Dad was a member. It was very suitable, right on the water, and we had glorious weather. Several people spoke, including Dad's doctor from the hospice who was a true angel of mercy. StepGranddaughter C sang Amazing Grace at Dad's request and we all cried. The flower arrangements were done in the colours of the desert spring flowers which are blooming right now in the Saldanha area, and which my Dad loved. There was lots of good food, plenty of wine, and at the end the remaining family gathered at home for a braai.

After Dad died I moved into the house with StepMom (I'd been staying around the corner with StepSister) so that she (and I) wouldn't be waking up alone. It was incredibly emotional and we took turns dissolving in tears until the day I left.

Since coming home I haven't cried much. The kids take a lot of attention and I caught a horrible cold within a couple of days which I can't seem to shake, so there isn't much time left over for grief (or blogging or anything else!)


Nat said...

My thoughts are with you during this next phase of grief. The return to normal life, with little nudges every now and again that remind you things are not quite the same.

Sounds like your dad's memorial was a wonderful tribute.

Hugs x

Nat said...
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Suzanne said...

Awww, Saffa. I wish I was there for your right now.

It may be a bit easier in the regards that your dad lived in SA and you didn't see him day to day. Still, in the months ahead, you will have days where you think "I should ring dad about this." and those, my friend, will get you but good.

Hugs from across the ocean, because those moments will come up when you least expect them.