Your Royal Fix

I don't think I've mentioned it, but while Princess was pretty much ok with me being gone for 2 weeks she did have Milord and the Nanny wrapped around her little finger while I was gone!

Princess totally refused to walk or to to use the toilet (only the potty) while I was away. I sorted out the toilet thing within half a day (I'm not dealing with dirty potties if I don't need to! Luckily she can't get down once plonked up there, so had to stay no matter how much she complained until her business was done) and I worked really hard on getting the walking thing back up to speed too.

It took a day or two for Princess to get steady again, as after 2 weeks of only crawling she was a bit wobbly, but then we were back to where we'd been. I make a point of walking somewhere every day, even if it's just around the shops, and Princess holds onto the pram or my hand.

A few days ago Princess let go of the pram while I was paying for something and started to wander off! This is a first for us, and a harbinger of things to come, no doubt. So then I decided she was probably ready to walk 50m to the park unaided... and she did so perfectly! A bit like a clockwork toy, but no tumbles, and she was so chuffed with herself that she just kept on going around and through the park for ages. That was Friday, and we did the same on Saturday and Sunday too.

I have a walking Princess! At 2 years 8 months she is finally up and away! I imagine I'll be less thrilled about this shortly, but right now I'm over the moon.

Here is Princess being a Fairy. She has to have her wings and wand to watch the The Fairies tv show ;-)

Fairy Dancing.

Why yes, Cinderella, you shall go to the ball! (Either that or she's trying to turn him into something?)

While we were away King made a couple of giant strides of his own... he mastered sitting and started eating solids!

She is trying to kiss him and he is trying to grab her - the day he gets it right we're going to have trouble!

Who me? Butter wouldn't melt...

King may have started solids but so far he only really likes biscuits. He won't open up for mush, but bigger bits of banana and avocado etc make him gag and throw up. I have decided that nomming on biscuits is just fine! He'll get to the rest when he is ready... I do try him with other food every so often, then mop up the vomit and hand him a biscuit. It's not like he's wasting away!

Biscuit mmm!

This was from this morning in the park. Funny how when I lived in the UK 15C was a nice balmy day, and here I have to really wrap us up because it's cold!

And a couple of random shots of Princess at the top of the slide, disappearing into the distance, and playing with the iPad.

Home

Actually, I have been home for a week! Kids, jet lag, and a rotten Internet connection have stopped me emailing, never mind blogging! This is just a quick note to say I am alive, sent from Milord's iPad.

 My trip to South Africa was as good as a trip to see a terminally ill parent can be. All my friends and family rallied to organise me a car, accommodation, babyseat, cot, toys etc. Plus folk came visiting at very short notice once Dad was out of hospital and things calmed down a bit.

I can't upload pics right now, so let me just say that when I got to Cape Town Dad was finally being allowed unmasked and ungowned visitors, so he could meet King and have a hug from me. Over Easter Dad was released from hospital, and although extremely frail he was very happy to go home.

By the time I flew home a week ago Dad was much better, and he tells me he is now driving a little bit too, although still having to take things very easy.

Obviously the lung cancer isn't going anywhere. At the moment Dad is trying to decide on life quality vs quantity, a hell of a thing to have to contemplate, especially with a doting wife to consider.

 I will write a better post once my computer can connect again!

Saffa Chick in Saffa Land

I haven't dropped off the planet, just travelled half way around it! I am in Cape Town, South Africa, visiting my Dad who has been scarily ill. 

Dad has lung cancer, and in the hopes of improving the odds he started a course of chemo a few weeks back. Now, chemo disagrees with everyone, but as Dad was in a frail state to begin with it totally floored him. He has been in a hospice ward for a couple of weeks with no white cells, unable to get out of bed. On top of the normal chemo side effects he also caught a couple of nasty bugs.

Luckily all that is now under control and Dad was discharged a few days after I got here. He is awfully weak and still suffering from various complaints, but he looks better every time I see him. 

I didn't want to post anything about my trip because for a while there this trip was looking to have a sad ending. Instead, it is a mostly joyful time of watching Dad regain his strength! Obviously the cancer is still lurking in the wings, but for now I still have my lovely Dad to spend time with.

I brought King to South Africa with me, and left Princess at home with Milord and a nanny. I just couldn't face the trip with both of them, and Dad is in no state to cope with an easily bored toddler. Dad has met Princess before, but not King, so King came along. Honestly, it couldn't have turned out better, as King was brilliant on the flights, and poor Princess came down with a virus just before I flew and has only just got better! We checked in super early and got a bassinet which King loved sleeping in, and I had the best leg room since I was a child. The domestic connection was less comfy, but the crew were great and King slept in my arms while I rested my wineglass on my neighbour's tray!

I have been out of South Africa for so long that I have completely forgotten how friendly people are. Everyone greets you as you walk by, and if you are stuck in a queue or a lift they will chat or play with the baby. It's nice. I am, however, very tired of being told how FAT!!! King is by everyone from a passing stranger to a doting Auntie. Yes, he is a very big, plump boy. And so he should be. Princess at the same age was the same shape (go back and look) and now she is slender and so will he be. King has a bottle of milk every 4 hours, except for the feed he skips at night, and that's quite ok. He has rejected all solids so far and I am not going to force him before he is ready, no matter what the great-aunts say.... growl

My family in South Africa is big and close-knit and have been totally awesome. I am driving a cousin's car, with carseat hired by an aunt who is also handling my airport pickup and dropoff. Another cousin has found me a cot, pram, playmat, toys and bumbo seat. To top it off a couple of my inland cousins are flying in next weekend to visit me while I am here! I have no family in Oz, but boy do I have a great family here!

I also have a super circle of friends. While most have scattered to the 4 winds following their careers and wanderlust, the few left in town have been quick to offer their help and companionship. I am currently staying in the company beachfront flat of an old boss, typing on his spare iPad - all free! Other friends have all offered catch up time... I have been a bit distracted but now that my Dad is so much better I hope to touch base with them.

My sister came and crashed on the couch here over Easter. We had a nice time even though Sis is not very mobile and also is on a cocktail of antidepressants which help her through life but make her rather subdued. She loves her nephew and spent as much time as possible playing with him. Sis also brought along all the Twilight movies which we watched back to back and now I am dreaming vampires! I think the books suck (heh) but the movies do a good job of making a silk purse from a sow's ear.

In a couple of days Dad and Stepmom will travel home to Saldanha, just over an hour up the west coast, and we will go with them. Then a week with Dad in his seaview house before I fly home to Milord and Princess who I miss terribly.

King has been such a great kid on this trip. Some days he hardly gets a fraction of his naps (he has 3 a day) because of running around or unconducive sleeping arrangements, but he can always muster a smile and cuddle for everyone. Especially Mummy, who sometimes really needs a cuddle!

40 - Part 2

I can't sleep, so might as well continue...

A friend's girlfriend is a caterer and they have a 12-seater dining table, and they offered to host a dinner party for my birthday. It was interesting to have to narrow my friends down to 8 invitees (excluding ourselves and the hosts)! Apart from the guest list I had no input into the planning so there was an element of surprise.

I managed to squeeze into a glamorous gown, and had a fabulous evening.

Milord hired a waiter for the night, and we arrived to mingle with canapes and champagne. The starter was a Stilton souffle with fig salad, and then Milord played a PowerPoint presentation he'd put together from photos of me that he'd got from my parents and my old photo albums. My parents (and my aunties and uncle - hi!) sent through video greetings, and it was very funny and touching.



The main was a divine duck confit, and the dessert was an espresso creme brulee that people are still talking about! Our friend also made chocolate truffles to go with coffee but I was too full to do them justice.




What a great evening. I managed to talk to everyone, the food and wine were amazing, the service was super, and I think everyone had a good time. We were home by midnight to relieve the babysitter which is very civilised!



A wonderful start to my 5th decade!

Ok, 3am, I'll try to go back to bed. Next post - King's Christening on the day after my birthday.

40!

Ok, this is a week late. I have been busy. And tired. And my Dad is in a bad way...

Anyhoo, I turned 40 last Saturday and it was fabulous! My 2 oldest friends, who I met in South Africa at 17 while attending Art College, now live in Australia and flew in from Perth and Brisbane on the Friday.



We rented a flat down the road with a view of the Sydney skyline. In the evening a lady masseuse gave us each massages and we ate Turkish takeaway.



On Saturday, my birthday, I woke at 7am. For me this is a lie in! I had a coffee watching the sun come up over Sydney, and at 9:30 we met Milord and the kids at the train station. Princess loved being on a train! Until she got bored, anyway.



Then we took a ferry ride around the harbour. Princess loved being on a boat! Until she got bored, anyway.



Then we walked around to a restaurant with a view of the Opera House and Harbour Bridge for brunch.



It was awesome. Princess went right past her naptime but was pretty good about it. Then train home for naptime...

To be Continued!

And on the bright side...

My life here is Oz is going rather splendidly, as if to underline the troubles happening to my Dad. I feel wrong talking about the good things when others are going through bad stuff... but that's sort of silly, right?

Princess' walking is coming along nicely. She can get up and stand for a good minute and a half and will happily walk across a room if you ask her to. She's pretty wobbly and falls over a fair bit, but no more than any other baby learning to walk I reckon. Holding my hand we can walk all the way to the shops, and that trip is getting faster all the time (it used to take 20 minutes to the top of my street - now it takes 5 minutes).

The potty training is going great. Today was her first puddle in a couple of weeks, and I've not had to deal with a toddler-poo nappy in ages!

King is getting the hang of falling asleep alone! He still needs a bit of help dropping off from time to time, but last night I made the executive decision that we would leave him to squawk for 5 minutes before picking him up - he resettled himself 3 times in the night before the 5 minutes was up, and we made it to 7am! Milord is a whole different person today (Milord usually does the nighttime resettling).

I'm turning 40 in a couple of weeks and my husband and friends are making a lovely fuss about it. I really don't mind turning 40 - I hated turning 30 because all the goals I had in my head were unreached, but I've certainly ticked all the boxes in the last decade!
Sunny country? Check.
Loving husband? Check.
2 perfect children? Check.
Own house? Check.

Our remortgage should pay out soon and as of next month Milord is getting a pay rise - hopefully we'll start breaking even now.

Life is fab. Now if only I could channel some of my luck to someone else... I love you Dad xxx.

Oh Hell

My Dad has lung cancer.

I feel so helpless and far away.

We love you Dad

My Dad is going through a rough patch. His youngest brother is riddled with cancer and has not been given very long to live, and the one closest in age to my Dad (I think) died from a sudden heart attack a couple of weeks ago. The family is hurting.

On top of that Dad is having pains deep in his chest and abdomen. I don't know if it is a good sign or not that they haven't found a cause yet...

I wish I wasn't so far away.

On a lighter note:

This is the best of the bunch of the photo I was trying to get... Oh, and if you ever want to know how old your skin, eyes and teeth look, lie next to a baby!



I bought Princess some new hairclips, so of course she had to wear them all at the same time...



I love you Dad.

Happy New Year!

Nearly a week late... RuralChick and her family decided to cancel their New Year's plans and stay home, so we stayed on with them until after New Year.



It was a lovely change of scene, but we were all utterly exhausted and very happy to come home on Monday - sharing a room with both kids and no curtains means that every day begins at dawn. Which is at 5am if you were wondering. While King usually wakes for a feed about then, Princess normally sleeps until 7am. Not with the sun up and Mummy feeding King she doesn't! Then of course it is still broad daylight at 7pm when Princess goes to bed, so she plays in the cot until it is dark. And day naps are pretty short too...

King can sleep anywhere, but an abundance of cuddly adults and playful children meant that he had very little chillout time while awake and he got steadily more twitchy.




Princess can't sleep through Milord's snoring and screams like monsters are in the room, so he got evicted and slept on couches and in kid's beds.

I merely had to deal with double dawn starts and later nights than usual, plus very little solitude - without which I too get somewhat twitchy after a while!

Having said that, I didn't have to cook or clean for a week which was lovely! Milord had friends to stay up late with, King charmed everyone and Princess was overwhelmed with toys and exploring.




It was surprisingly cold - the whole of December has been cool, and at RuralChick's elevation it rarely broke 20C during the day and I had the kids rugged up for winter at night! I didn't mind, but it was nice to come home to warmer weather... much warmer weather!



We've been home 4 nights and are all just about caught up on sleep (well, as much as you can with a 4-month-old!).

Today King had a checkup and his 4-month vaccinations... he was really good and hardly cried, and Princess took no notice at all - I had been more worried about her than him! King is 8.5kg - that's just about off the scale! His height is also nearly off the scale, so he's a proportional Big Boy which is ok. "He's thriving nicely" says the doctor. Oh, yes indeedy!

King sleeps an 8 to 10 hour stretch at night now, and beginning to settle earlier and earlier - he is usually asleep by 9pm. While this means his dawn feeds can be quite early, it is very nice to have kid-free time in the evening! King is a great smiler and started chuckling a couple of weeks ago which is adorable. He gets lots of tickles because I love hearing him giggle!

Merry Christmas!

We are having a lovely quiet Christmas Day. Santa brought biltong which goes very nicely with champagne... It is sunny and breezy and warm, the Greeks next door are barbequing and playing their music and we could be on holiday in the Greek Isles.



This morning Princess woke to a heap of presents under the tree and by the fifth one totally had the hang of ripping wrapping paper. She even got to unwrap the pressies for King, Milord and me, and was very gracious about passing along the contents after a little testing.

We have skyped all the family around the world who have broadband, and I'll ring my sis in South Africa once it is morning there. I am a new skype convert - my Mom and my Dad and my SIL were all able to chat and watch us open presents almost as if they were here.

The ballerina dress is from my SIL. It is glittery. So are we now. So is the house.



Christmas dinner will be timed for about 5pm, which is Princess' dinnertime and we will all eat together - should be fun, we never eat dinner together! I'm doing roast chicken with a red wine and rosemary jus, roast baby potatoes and roast sweet potato, brussels sprouts and carrots. yum.

May you have a wonderful time with people you love over Christmas too.

I'm being tested!

Things you don't really want to happen when you are handling your kids solo:

1. Princess doing a huge poo in the bath. Even though I was in the bathroom I was busy with King and didn't notice until the water was all brown. And she was drinking it! *shudder* I hate potty training.

2. A huge wasp invades the living room (I'm allergic to bees and terrified of wasps). Turns out it was after the enormous spider!!! Luckily both kids were elsewhere... I drenched the spider in bugspray (I think it was already paralysed, but I wasn't taking any chances) and then emptied half a tin towards the wasp who thankfully flew out the door. Then I flicked the spider out too. I hope the wasp doesn't come back looking for it! (Hey cuz, I thought of you - remember when I stayed over and your fella was out and we dealt with a great big spider?!)

3. King stops settling at 9pm and instead screams until 10:30pm. Then wakes twice in the night instead of once. Then does a huge poo at dawn so only goes back to sleep as Princess wakes up. God I'm tired.

2 nights to go... heeeeelp!

Solo Parenting

Milord is away for 4 nights on business. I was so intimidated by this idea that I rang up RuralChick and organised to go and stay with her. She is also on her own all week with 2 (older) kids. We planned to put up her Christmas tree and to bake cookies, and it would have been great fun. RuralChick adores babies so would enjoy handling King, and her daughter would have enjoyed playing with Princess. I was going to cook a couple of meals and drink a lot of wine!

Sadly RuralChick's kids have both come down with a nasty virus (which might even be whooping cough!) so I'm not going - it would be simply idiotic to knowingly expose my little ones to that sort of thing.

Last night was night 1. I got through it with a fair amount of wine...

The hardest part is managing bathtime and storytime, because I need my hands (and body) free to manage Princess in and out of the water and into her PJs. Then I need a certain amount of silence in which to read a book! *sigh* It was not much fun, and I may have skipped a few pages [chapters] of whatever I was trying to read with a squalling son in one arm. Then dinner was just too difficult to attempt with King being very unsettled - I had a couple of bowls of chips.

I miss my husband just because I love him of course, but having that extra pair of hands to tag-team the grumbling baby is what I really miss!

King finally fell asleep at 10pm, I had an apple to clear my palate, tidied up a bit and crashed into bed and slept quite well until 5am when King woke. He went back to sleep at 6am and I managed a bit more sleep myself until both kids woke at 7am.

I'm pretty weary, but it could be worse.

This afternoon I will knock up a risotto so that I have something easy to eat with one hand tonight. And I may skip Princess' bath.

3 nights to go...

Update: it is 10pm and King has finally settled. We were doing great until 6:30pm and then he just went mental... hungry but not wanting milk, tired but unable to sleep, scream scream scream (not unusual but pretty rough alone). At 8:30 I just put him in his cot and went off to pick up toys and wash dishes with the scream scream scream coming down the passage... At 9 he finally conked out whimpering in my arms, and at 9:15 I changed his nappy and got a bottle into him and now he is sleeping like an angel.

I need a hug.

I've just poured the last of the bottle of wine and got out some chocolate, and am going to sit quietly with my book for a little while before crashing into my blissfully huge and empty bed!

The risotto was an inspired idea - Princess loved it (risotto's pretty good for a toddler determined to work the spoon herself as it's sticky) and at least I've had a proper dinner tonight albeit eaten standing and rocking the baby. Bacon and broccoli risotto (plus capsicum, carrot and zucchini because Princess and I need a veggie boost) - very yum!

In Vino Veritas

Feeling a bit blue today.

Last night Milord was several sheets to the wind when I offered what I thought was constructive criticism on his failed gravy... and he blew up. "F*** you! I give you everything and I get nothing back!" etc etc etc while I sat in wide eyed silence.

He's under a lot of stress at work, and has been covering for someone on leave too for a couple of weeks. He'd had Princess all morning for swimming, took King for 5 clingy hours in the afternoon, and had cooked us dinner which hadn't turned out quite how he wanted. He's been turning down cocktail evenings and cutting pub visits short to be home to help me wrangle the kids through their evening routine.

I know he misses having a social life. Hell, I haven't had an evening free... since April I think when Mom was here. I rarely have 15 minutes free of the kids on a weekday. I didn't think I was personally responsible for Milord's lack of social life though - he chose to have this family too. I need him to help me in the evenings - yes I could cope but it's no fun managing bathtime or reading a story with a screaming infant in one arm!

I thought I was doing enough in return. The kids are clean and fed and mostly well mannered. The house is sort of tidy and the groceries are packed away. We have clean clothes, towels and sheets. I make a point of thanking Milord for being such a good husband and dad, and for coming home in time to help me. I even initiate sex sometimes when both kids are asleep and Milord is awake... which is a rare alignment of planets!

I honestly don't know what else I could give. Apart from not expecting him to be straight home after work and around on weekends I suppose... but I don't want to be on my own for evenings and weekends!

So Milord had his rant, and I resumed trying to settle King while pondering where my marriage had gone so wrong. Half an hour later Milord apologised, saying he'd realised he was talking rubbish, and hugged me and I wept. Then Milord went to sleep and I carried on settling the baby.

Ironically Milord is out all day today playing golf.

This morning Milord took the 5am feed so I got 2 hours extra sleep, and he cooked us an awesome breakfast, and he apologised again... but I am still blue. Is my marriage in trouble without me noticing? Have I fallen into the trap of being such a focused mother that my husband feels he is neglected?

What do I do? I'd love to have Date Nights, or join Milord in the pub etc, but I think King is too little (and demanding) to be left with non-family for an evening, and I have no family here to help me. He's also too demanding for us to even consider having friends over for dinner!

I think we are probably ok, and it's just a rocky patch while the baby is so needy. Princess was jolly awkward until 4 months old, and then she started settling at 7pm and we got our lives back a little.

Granny's Here

Princess is in heaven!

14 Weeks

A bit late - I've been frantically getting ready for Mom's arrival tomorrow! While my house is never disgusting I do have a relaxed attitude towards dust. And the inside of ovens and fridges. And my Christmas lights were still up outside the front. And the laundry needed a spring clean. *sigh* I really hate housework. I do it, but I hate it!

Plus we'll be taking Princess into our room while Mom gets over jetlag so I've moved everything around to fit in a cot. And rearranged Princess' room so that it's nice for a grownup to live in for a month.

Just a lick of dusting and a thorough vacuum left to do and we're ready. Mom lands at 7:15am tomorrow and we can't wait! I've had photos of Mom on slideshow on our digital photoframe for the past week: "There's Granny! Say Granny. Granny. Granny. Where's Granny?"

Princess can now identify her Granny and say "Nanny", which is very cute and may well stick. I've always wondered why so many grannies were called "Nan" and "Nanny", and it must be because the "gr" sound is very hard for babies. Princess has pretty good enunciation, but "r" and "w" are still mostly beyond her.

On the subject of our impending addition, things are going great. I'm staying the same weight while my bump is growing and I'm nearly out of all normal non-stretch trousers and shorts. I'm now at the stage where I'm too big for normal clothes and too small for my maternity wear...





Weight at conception: 74.5kg
Weight at 14 weeks: 70.5kg
Loss/Gain since last week: 0kg
Total Loss/Gain: -4kg

I didn't get around to measuring my bump and thighs this week...

Other preggy symptoms: nosebleeds (when I wash my face), itchy moles, dodgey bladder when sneezing, the odd tingle/stab in my boobs... that's about it.

Manflu Central

Milord has the lurgy - so far Princess and I seem immune. It is so nice that she doesn't catch every cold under creation any more!

Milord is not a bad patient as such - no whining - but golly he's a bear with a sore head when the meds wear off! (ah, that reminds me ...gets up to feed Milord more cold remedy...)

I have also been re-braining my computer, which wasn't as easy as it should have been. So I've lost a couple of days there!

There was a major storm system bearing down on Sydney since Thursday. A huge cold front up from Antarctica mixed with wet tropical air and swept across Australia, dumping heavy rain with high winds, and was due to hit here yesterday. I was quite looking forward to it as we have a newly renovated cosy little house. I stocked up on wine, snacks and pork roast, and watched the weather channel with interest.

...and... it missed us! Flooding and storms everywhere except Sydney - we had a cloudy balmy breezy day yesterday. I had to go out this morning and thoroughly water my flowerbeds as they were parched (I'd turned off the automatic irrigation in anticipation of lots of rain). It is a bit chilly outside though.

Milord has been parked in front of the telly all day... news, sport, xbox, yawn. Princess plays on the mat at his feet, squawking for attention when her container-of-items-to-fling-around-the-room is empty, or she can't reach something. In general she's the easiest kid to entertain though!

Right, computer is back online. Where's the post about the first words got to...?

Dad and StepMom are gone...

Wah!

I dropped Dad and StepMom at the airport this morning and drove home with a lump in my throat and I'm a bit blue now - not quite the blubbering mess I was after Mom's last visit, but still sad. They seemed to enjoy Australia and are head-over-heels in love with Princess, so they'll be back!

As well as sightseeing the highlights of their visit include: a new tooth, Princess' first words, and her learning to blow kisses! More about that later...

Dad and StepMom were awesome house guests. They bought all the groceries and wine and took over dish washing and clothes-folding (both pet hates of mine). When not playing with Princess they could usually be found reading a book or fiddling on a computer, so were very easy to be around as that's what I tend to do in my downtime too! They offered to babysit as much as we fancied, so Milord and I went out on two Date Nights - our first since my birthday in March!


Their first week had stunning weather - in fact it was unseasonably warm! We explored the Harbour Bridge and Opera House, walked along the river near my house, put irrigation into my flowerbeds, tested my hammock, attended a joint Mother's Group First Birthday party, and walked to the Fish Markets via parkland.




Then Dad and StepMom went to stay with an old friend for a week to give us some space and were taken all over the Blue Mountains, Northern Beaches and central Sydney. In the meantime I got the house clean and tidy, and Milord and I spent a couple of days visiting RuralChick and her family. It rained nonstop so we chatted and drank and read and ate... nice!

When Dad and StepMom got back to me they were exhausted! We spent a couple of days recharging at home and in local parks, then ventured back into the city to explore the QVB, Chinatown and the Chinese Gardens. One day I sent Dad and StepMom into town to walk the Harbour Bridge, and on the weekend Milord joined us and we all explored The Rocks Market and surrounds.


Yesterday, their last day, we caught a train to Circular Quay and found a restaurant near the Opera House, overlooking the Harbour Bridge. We had lunch and a couple of bottles of wine, the sun came out and we basked while watching the world go by. It was a perfect last day in Sydney!



Now I have my little house to myself... Milord is at work, Princess is napping, the first of many laundry loads is in the wash, and it's very very quiet. I don't quite know what to do with myself!

Dad and StepMom are here!

Lots of baby-bonding and moderate sightseeing. They're handing jetlag surprisingly well and we're fitting into my little house ok. Milord and I are sharing Princess' room - she's quiet enough but I wonder how she's handling the snoring... I notice her day naps are longer than usual!







Dad is still recovering from his surgery a bit, so we keep our walks short. I try to let Princess have her morning nap at home each day so we usually only get moving at midday - which seems to suit the grandparents!

Bo' Bo' Bo'

Dad and StepMom will be here in a few days time! Dad's kidney cancer seems to have been successfully treated by surgery, although the doctors will be keeping an eye on him. Now that Dad has recovered from the operation they are finally coming to Australia (from South Africa) for the first time, to meet his granddaughter. I am very excited!



I had my bestest friend in the whole wide world (and her hubby and 2 lovely daughters) visit me this week too so I'm getting very spoiled by my loved ones this month! BestGirl and her family have managed to swing immigration visas and will be moving to Australia within the next year. I'm going to have her on the same continent! Within weekend-visiting-distance! Woohoo!

Of course I was so overwhelmed at having BestGirl here for a night that I completely forgot to take any photos. She took a few I think so I'll have to get those. We sat up chatting until 2am, trying to jam 2 year's worth into one night. Now I'm missing her terribly and I keep picking up the phone and realising that it's the middle of her night... *sigh*

My Granny - Eulogy

This is the text of the eulogy my Dad spoke at my Granny's funeral:

For Mom - Remembrance Thoughts at the Funeral.


With Mom gone that leaves Aunt Marina and me as the senior members of our family. Aunt Marina, I don’t want the burden and I’d like you to be around for a long time please.

Mavis Florence Purchase entered the world on the 1st of January 1920 in Piet Retief. She married Dad in 1943 and they had nine children. There was a still borne baby girl called Charmaine who is buried in Potch and of course the eight boys. She was very proud of the bunch of us even if she couldn’t remember our names most of the times. Well that’s not quite correct - she had the names but applied it to one of the others. So we were quite used to be called John Ag Merwyn ag Terry. We teased her about it and it was one of the great things in our family was the amount of teasing and laughter and tall tales that grow with each gathering.

Over such a spread of time 90 years, there were a lot of changes. So the survivors here have all known a different Mavis, Mom, Granny and Aunt. Sadly little Arielle has only known a bent over frail old lady who watched very loud TV but there were other ladies hiding inside there and I’d like to share a few of them with you.

I was born when Mom was 23. That was only a few years after she had sent a photo of herself in a swimsuit to the Miss South Africa competition. When Dad came back after the War and they set up house, they were young and active. I can remember them playing tennis in Potch and Les, Terry and I loved that because there was some kind of paddling pool that we used to play in while they were on the court. So that First Mom was tall and slim and protective.

Housekeeping was more complex then because modern appliances were still coming. We had a brick evaporative cooler in Potch that had to be wet down to keep things cool because there was no fridge. Fruit and Veg were still in the future and so was Pick’nPay and supermarkets. Todays frozen chicken were running around the fowl run and that’s also where we got eggs. Milk, cheese and butter were in the two cows which were milked morning and evening and fruit and veg in season were in the garden. I seem to remember that when I was young there was always things cooking in the kitchen and jam and canned fruit and pickles and chutneys and stuff was being made. So the Housekeeping Mom I remember was pretty busy and on top of that she also had to cope with the Wild Bunch.

What strikes me most about that Young Mom was the freedom we were given. We had a lot of veld around the house in Valhalla and from our house to the Swartkops kopje was all open and it was all ours to roam. We were pretty active boys and not stuck at home with TV and cellphones and ipods and digital games. A lot of the toys we made had lethal potential – bows and arrows and spears and any sort of throwing device that had been shown at the Saturday afternoon movies. Not to mention explosive things that we managed to concoct from those chemicals we could liberate from the school and find around the house. And in Durban there were fires and lead and sinkers and snakes. Luckily she had been a nurse and could handle blood because we spilt a bit. It couldn’t have been easy but we seem to have turned out alright so the love and protection she had for us worked out pretty well.

Once we got to Durban my own life started taking off and that Mom seems to have been pregnant a lot while I was on the beach and doing sport and chasing girls. As a typical rebellious teenager, to me she seemed to become middle aged Old Fashioned Mom who didn’t like rock and roll and regarded Elvis as the disciple of the devil.

Then I left home and was into my sea career and didn’t get home all that often. Anthony arrived after I left home so the mother he knew was a lot older. Once my girls were around, my Mom became the Granny Mom. In 1975 at Easter when we were in England, Mom came over and spent some time with us. We took her on the canal boats which meant a lot of time outside in the English weather. She’s always had such a thing about her hair and the wind and I’m sure that she wore a doek to cope. So the girls have this view of the Granny of then as this elderly woman who twitched about hair and wind and especially the cold. Especially the English cold!

When we moved back to Pretoria in the mid-eighties, we saw a lot more of Mom and Dad again. By then our brother Jeff was died, Dad had retired and even Anthony was out of the house. I spoke to Mel yesterday and she talks about the Granny she knew then and she mostly remembers things to do with food. The famous swiss roll and tipsy tart which Mom used to put on immediately a visitor arrived. And the home made ginger beer in that big black enamel pot. With all the boys out of the house, she really made a big thing of feeding people and they had a lot of visitors and there was always a lot of food. She kept track of all her cousins and second cousins and I am sad that we have lost track of so many that used to pop in to see them. That was Food Mom or Food Granny.

By then of course there was a TV in the house and the soapies ruled the roost. There are many funny stories where she got distracted by what was showing and only smoke revealed that there was problem in the kitchen. I can remember one day when we were there for a braai and she popped some cold butter into the microwave with the intention of softening it. It is supposed to take ten seconds but at 30 or 40, it became a bowl of oil. When I went into the kitchen to collect something, she had just destroyed the second one and I took over to save the meltdown of the third. That Absentminded TV-verskrik Mom from those days was pretty scatty but it made for some great family stories.

Then of course there was Gambling Mom. The casinos which were started here in 1979 created a whole new area of joy for her as the nest emptied. If we arranged to come and visit, her first question was “Are you going to take me to the casino?’ and she would then start saving her housekeeping and cutting back on the ironing lady to gather her gambling money. I can remembering taking her to the new Carousel one morning in 1991 where I went to seen Terminator 2 and she played the slot machines. We had lunch and she went back in so I saw another movie and she played the slots again. She must have been in there for about 8 hours. She really enjoyed the casinos and two years ago we could tell that she was becoming weaker when she could only manage a couple of hours at Montecassino.

When she became Widowed Mom in 1999 we started worrying a bit. She made the house into a bit of a fortress but was dead set against going into a retirement village or that sort of environment. At this stage we were really grateful that Frank and Anthony were nearby. She used to come and visit the southern family at Xmas but it was the Cape and there was wind in the hair. By now the Doek had given way to a green jacket with a hood which we called the Garden Gnome outfit and irrespective of the weather, that was what she wore outside.

These last few years, she has suffered the problem of outliving anyone who shared her interests and memories and became Lonely Mom. From what I have heard from our family here in Pretoria, she has not been enjoying this final year. The aches and pains have been attacking her, she has been getting deafer and the soapies have not been making sense any more. She has been getting frail and weak and the food that she used to enjoy had become a battle to eat.

So those were the Mom’s I knew. I know my brothers and the other folk here knew some different ladies and have some very funny stories and I hope they can share some with us afterwards.

Her sons have travelled around the world, her granddaughters are scattered and still exploring, and she has a crop of great grandchildren extending our family some more.

Professor Henry Harold Pearson was the first curator of the Kirstenbosch Gardens in Cape Town. He is buried there and the epitaph above his grave says "If ye seek his monument, look around." I think when Mom looked at her sons and their families and the happiness and laughter that we all share, she would be proud. We are her monument.

Really a Great Mom. We will miss them all.